Newsletter: How to Talk to Performers After a Show
Maybe I'm a robot or an alien but I've written a guide for how to speak to people.
What Is This?
Hello to subscribers new and old! I’m Marcel Blanch-de Wilt. I have a long fancy name. The first part is French and the last part is Dutch. The middle? I don’t know. I’m a comedian, director, improviser, teacher, and coach based in Australia.
Welcome to my new subscribers who have deliberately or accidentally subscribed.
Let me properly introduce myself. I’m a huge comedy nerd - and just a fan of pop-culture and creativity in general. When I’m not performing, I teach stand-up, improv, and corporate performance. One of the roles I love most is coaching and directing comedians. Oh look, that was a link to book me!
This newsletter is about making comedy and how I make a living performing and teaching. I’ll tell you about my thoughts on stand-up, improv, and writing (and a lot about the person doing those things.)
The Notes Section
The half ideas and jokes that make it to the notes section on my phone
Oh man, I got trapped on a train-replacement on Monday night. I was squished into a bus with train people. Train people were never meant to be this close to each other. The bus driver then went wildly off-course and had to be redirected. He had the nervous vibe of someone who had been snatched off the street by government agents and told to drive the bus or else he’ll never see his family again. It took two hours to get home. Sometimes I think I might still be on that bus and this is all a dream.
I went to TWO destination weddings this month. They both required a flight, hire car, one had an extra shuttle bus but it was all worth it for the little shout-out. The little shout-out from the married couple for “everyone that travelled to be here today” makes it all worthwhile. Every time I elbow my wife and whisper “That’s us!”
On my most recent flight I told the person in front of me to not to recline his seat. He immediately apologised and moved his seat forward. Afterwards my wife told me that it was “really sexy” when I told him off. It was a lovely compliment until I remembered that she has also witnessed me squeezed into a seat on an economy seat, crushed by the guy in front, on an international flight on our honeymoon. What was she thinking that whole time? “Is this who I married? Can this guy not sit up for himself?”
See Me Live
I’m about to go on tour across Victoria as part of Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow! Check out the shows here.
Quick Crowdwork Tip
I’m getting back in the headspace to MC ten day’s worth of shows. I love hosting shows and I’ve become very particular with how I approach each performance. Here’s a quick tip for any public-speaking scenario where you’re engaging with the audience: repeat what the person said to the rest of the crowd.
So often I see seasoned comedians forget this essential element. They ask someone a question in the front row. The audience member responds but they’re not mic’d up so they can’t be heard from the back. The performer and the front of the crowd can hear and they laugh, the performer responds with some witty retort, meanwhile we have no idea what the guy in the first row initially said. Everyone but that pocket of the audience feels left out.
Repeating what the person said back to the audience is helpful in many ways. It buys you time. It creates tension for the response. It gives you a chance to think about how you’re going to respond. Sometimes you can even get a second laugh just from relaying the information to everyone else. It can also be super handy for clarifying what you think you heard. You’re amplifying that audience member and they’ll probably feel looked after as a result.
Whether it’s in meetings, stand-up nights, weddings, whatever, make it a habit and it will pay off in a big way. It works for hecklers too!
Comedy Pet-Peeves: Talking to Performers After A Show
Each month I tackle a particular subject in the world of comedy that irritates me.
Whether it’s a play, poetry night, or stand-up show, we’ve probably all had the experience of going to see a friend’s performance and had to navigate what to say to them afterwards. Even if you enjoyed the show it can be tricky to know what to say, especially for the socially awkward or anxious types like me. It’s especially difficult when the show was lousy or the performer was having a bad night.
Here’s a handy guide to Talking to Performers After a Show
Let’s start with the sorts of things to avoid if it was a bad night.
“The people around me weren’t into it at all… but I liked it!”
“Are you OK?”
“It sounded way worse than it was”
“I loved your energy!”
“Wow, I loved the lighting”
“Sorry we came in late”
“The parking was terrible”
“The drink prices here are terrible”
“Is the heckler part of the show? That was my favourite part.”
“I think someone walked out”
You might have guessed that these are all things that I’ve heard or overheard. My favourite one was after a show all about my move to Melbourne and how I now lived in Melbourne. A friend asked me in the bar after the show, “So where are you living these days?”
It can be super awkward to come up with something to say after a show especially if it wasn’t great. I’ve been guilty of ghosting performers after shows and sending a cheeky text message instead: “Loved the show, had to run!” Please note that if you have received one of these from me, you are the exception. I actually did love the show. My wife and I have left plays at the interval. Sometimes life is too short.
Let’s break down the two main scenarios:
Step #1: If You Liked The Show
- “Congratulations!”
Step #1: If You Didn’t Like The Show
- “Congratulations!”
You might have noticed a subtle commonality between both scenarios. Even if the show was subpar or not to your taste, it’s always great to open with a congratulations. Getting on stage is hard. It’s vulnerable and mentally taxing. Starting with a recognition of the hard work is a great place to start. Your friend is full of all sorts of chemicals post show. They’re delicate.
But what now? What if you have to make conversation with the performer? What do I say next?
Step #2: If You Liked The Show
- “How do you feel?”
I like this option because often performers don’t know what to do with a bunch of compliments or statements. If you shower them compliments you might find yourself running out of steam very quickly and not getting much in return. Ask them questions. They’re probably very keen to share how they felt on stage. It also gives them the option to take the conversation any where else if they’d prefer not to talk about the show.
A lot of the time I’m keen to chat to my friends about them since I’ve been the one doing all the talking for the past hour.
Step #2: If You Didn’t Like The Show
- “How do you feel?”
Noticing a pattern? (I’m questioning if I’m a robot all of a sudden since I’m mapping out how to have a human interaction. Maybe my brain chemistry lends itself to this way of thinking. If this is all obvious to you, then you’re one of the rare people that don’t make after-show interactions awkward.)
If you’ve noticed that both scenarios have the same first two steps, you’d be right! You deserve a prize of some kind. Asking a performer ‘How do you feel?’ after a less-than-stellar performance in your opinion puts the ball in their court. You’re about to discover if they had the same experience as you. You might be surprised to find that they had a really good time and that this particular night didn’t stick out as bad as you thought. Maybe they weren’t as bothered by the noise of the dishwasher, or the disruptive latecomers as you were. Maybe it’s the last thing they want to hear.
I realising that this whole piece has been a lesson in small-talk. I’ve found recently that questions are a brilliant tool to avoid awkwardness when scrambling for the next thing to say. Being equipped with good, open questions makes a big difference in that ‘stage door’ moment.
Finally, if you stick around for a drink, let the performer help determine how much they want to talk about the show. Sometimes you might get some juicy behind-the-scenes goss, sometimes you might get some interesting insights into how the show came together, but often they might prefer you taking the mic for a while.
The Comedy Writers Group
This July / August we’re hosting TWO Winter Writers Retreats! One in Queensland and another the following weekend in Victoria. It’s very exciting to have fostered a community so keen to connect and create. If you’re not a member and interested in hearing more, send me an email or comment on this post.
What is The Comedy Writers Group? The CWG is a community of comedians from around Australia - and slowly expanding to members around the world. We have sessions every Saturday morning (AEST) and every second Wednesday. At our workshops we’re joined by special guest professional comedians who help guide and mentor our participants.
Coaching Sessions
I have a booking portal for my coaching / directing sessions. These are one-on-one appointments designed to give you customised guidance on your creative pursuit. Lately I’ve been working with folks on a range of projects from stand-up sets, full shows, novels, newsletters, comedy songs, and more.
“Marcel has a special knack for finding out what you really want to say. He can look at an idea and help you discover more about it, ask the right questions and even say "maybe that's not really worth exploring"... He's an honest, approachable and enthusiastic director. He covers off on all bases too – structure, jokes, the theatre of it all. He'll make you feel proud of your work.”
- Lizzy Hoo
Recommendations
Watch: As part of my burn-out rehab, I’m trying to watch a lot more movies. Especially at the cinema. I absolutely loved Sinners. For a genre movie, it was so bold and inventive. There’s a musical sequence in the middle of the movie that is a big swing but they get away with it because it’s pulled off so well.
On the subject of popcorn movies, Thunderbolts* has restored some of my faith in Marvel blockbusters. It actually had a storyline and themes! Imagine! I think one of my favourite sub-genres might be ‘team of misfits having to resolve their differences and work together’ so it was right up my alley.
I recommend The Wild Robot to everyone with a beating heart. It’s on Netflix and it’s beautifully made. Do yourself a favour. Spoiler-alert: I’m just now realising that it might be the same sub-genre as Thunderbolts*.
